My first blog post

I have enjoyed following others' stories of trying to conceive, pregnancy, adoption and parenting, so I decided to start my own blog. My hope is that it will be a creative outlet for me and possibly provide insight or entertainment for others.

My husband, C, and I have been trying to conceive since June of 2008. This is our story.

C and I started dating in 2003 and were married in 2006. I'm a California girl, born and raised, and he is a transplant from the East Coast. We love to travel and have taken many great trips together: Italy, Hawaii, Australia, France and lots of little ones here and there.

We have a house in the suburbs that is just waiting to be filled up with a few little ones. Until then, it's us and our two spoiled cats.

I have wanted to be a mom forever. In fact, when I was two and a half and my mom told me that a baby was on the way, I assumed it must be a baby for me. I was disappointed to learn that it was actually another baby for my mom. Of course, I didn't want to get pregnant during my high school or college years, but I always new my time would come and looked forward to it.

I always told myself I wanted my first baby at 30. C was on board with that idea from the beginning. He's six years older than me, so he thought he'd be ready to be a dad by then. I went off of birth control pills and started trying to conceive nine months before my 30th birthday. Well, I turn 30 in just over two weeks, and I haven't gotten my BFP (Big Fat Positive pregancy test) yet.

I've learned much more about my body and reproductive cycle than I've ever cared to know. I take my temperature every morning and chart it. I test for various hormones throughout the month to make sure the right things are happening. I had one month with no ovulation, and I also had an ultrasound that showed small cysts on my ovaries. Otherwise I am healthy and so is C. I started using Clomid this month (an ovulation-helping medication), and now I just wait to see if it worked.

I believe I ovulated on 2/14 or 2/15, so I need to wait until the end of next week to find out if we were successful.

This part of the cycle (the two week wait) is the worst for me. I just want to know. I have to accept that I don't know while hoping for the best but bracing for the worst. This is my life.